My life has changed so much over the past three months. I now find myself looking into the mirror and seeing a person I no longer regconize. Before, I saw a person who knew exactly who he wanted to be. A person who was excited about tomorrow. A person who wanted to take the world by the horns and make a name for himself. Today when I look into the mirror, I see a stranger with distant eyes, and a fading smile. I see a person who is not longer comfortable the settings he has been a part of for years.
Near the end of February, I lost my grandmother to complications gain from scleraderma. My grandma has been a huge piece of my life and who I am as a person. I have lived with her for the past 10 years. She was more like a mother to me than a grandmother. Though my emotions wont often show it, I think about her every given moment of the day. Even now, almost two months since she passed. I feel lost at home, even more so in the routines I go through were things she would say were always a part of that routine.
The other big change in my life is that I am now graduated from college. I have been in school since before I can remember. Now once again I am thrust into a setting I am not familiar with, not having to worry about school. I am in a job right now that I use to love, but now find myself dreading to go to daily. I try to think a head about where I could end up here in the next few months to start my career, and all I find myself thinking about is why did I choose the path I just finished.
Changes are expected in life, and I am one who is usually excited about changes, but two big changes happening at the same time has definitely caught me off guard. To all my friends out there, I pray that you will be patient with me as I adjust to my new life and rediscovering who I am as a person. As I lie awake at night staring into the darkness, mind racing a hundred miles per hour. Or when I look into the mirror the find that person I once knew. I will try my best to be me, and keep my head up.
