Right now I am a mixed pot of emotions. After having a summer off with nothing to do but think about this fall, I will be student teaching at Western High School starting September 6, 2011. I am scared to death, anxious, and very excited all at the same time. It is going to be hard for me to get any sleep between now and Tuesday.
Well I got the chance to be involved in some "Professional Development" sessions this past Monday and Tuesday. During this time I got to meet many different teachers and administrators at the high school. They all made me feel very welcome, and I walked out of those two days ready to start. I was pumped and ready to go. The guy who is allowing me to take over his class until December is great and very supportive, so I felt on top of the world.
After fours days of of preparing myself to start, I realized that I do not think I am ready to student teach. I am scared to death now. Luckily, I will not take over a class until the 3rd week of school, but I am still scared going in. I am not sure if I am scared due to the fact that I will be teaching hundreds of kids, or if I am scared because at the end of March, I will graduate and enter the real world. But on the other hand, I have wanted to get out on my own for years now, so I should be excited right?
Yes I should, I really should be excited. I am going to accomplish something that no one in my family has accomplished yet and earn a bachelor's degree. I am going to have the ability to get in and inspire young people to go on and do great things. I will be able to see them grow in intellect and ability throughout the time I am able to teach them. I want this so bad because it was a teacher that saw the potential in me and inspired me to make a difference.
But yet here I am, sitting down at 2:00 in the morning, with SportsCenter playing quietly in the background, scared to death. Why?
I apologize, but writing is a form of therapy for me, and right now I need it. I hope once I get into the classroom and meet my students I will be fine. I am sure once I create a lesson of my own and teach that lesson, I will be fine. I am also sure that if I have a beer or 5 I will also be fine. Once again sorry for my ranting.
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