Saturday, September 3, 2011

Fear, Anxiety, Excitement and More

Right now I am a mixed pot of emotions. After having a summer off with nothing to do but think about this fall, I will be student teaching at Western High School starting September 6, 2011. I am scared to death, anxious, and very excited all at the same time. It is going to be hard for me to get any sleep between now and Tuesday.

Well I got the chance to be involved in some "Professional Development" sessions this past Monday and Tuesday. During this time I got to meet many different teachers and administrators at the high school. They all made me feel very welcome, and I walked out of those two days ready to start. I was pumped and ready to go. The guy who is allowing me to take over his class until December is great and very supportive, so I felt on top of the world.

After fours days of of preparing myself to start, I realized that I do not think I am ready to student teach. I am scared to death now. Luckily, I will not take over a class until the 3rd week of school, but I am still scared going in. I am not sure if I am scared due to the fact that I will be teaching hundreds of kids, or if I am scared because at the end of March, I will graduate and enter the real world. But on the other hand, I have wanted to get out on my own for years now, so I should be excited right?

Yes I should, I really should be excited. I am going to accomplish something that no one in my family has accomplished yet and earn a bachelor's degree. I am going to have the ability to get in and inspire young people to go on and do great things. I will be able to see them grow in intellect and ability throughout the time I am able to teach them. I want this so bad because it was a teacher that saw the potential in me and inspired me to make a difference.

But yet here I am, sitting down at 2:00 in the morning, with SportsCenter playing quietly in the background, scared to death. Why?

I apologize, but writing is a form of therapy for me, and right now I need it. I hope once I get into the classroom and meet my students I will be fine. I am sure once I create a lesson of my own and teach that lesson, I will be fine. I am also sure that if I have a beer or 5 I will also be fine. Once again sorry for my ranting.

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2 comments:

  1. Jason, don't be scared...you are going to be AMAZING!!!! I bet you are going to love it! And those kids couldn't ask for a better teacher :)
    But don't get to busy to come see us once in a while!!

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  2. Dude, it is gonna be so great! You of all people should be stoked because you are PERFECT for it. So happy that you have this great opportunity and everything is working out for you. I want to hear all about it when you start.

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